Not something to cheer about

I pissed my Sunday afternoon away watching the UAAP cheerdance competition on TV. It was despairing—and I’m being kind here.

There was a time a long time ago I was a college boy and my weeks were highlighted by trips to the Rizal Memorial Stadium (or Ultra or the Ateneo Stadium or the Araneta Coliseum) for my regular dose of NCAA basketball games. Halftimes breaks then were occasions to even be more stoked with the ol’ school spirit. If anyone of you have seen San Beda’s Red Indians you wouldn’t blame me if I say there is no better pep squad in the world than those boys with folds of fat bouncing like jell-o all over the court. Mendiola lore has it the reason the NCAA doesn’t have a cheerdance competition is because no school is willing to be chopped by those tomahawks. 

          Anyway, back to the unfortunate UAAP side event.  I blame the Cheer Leaders Assocation of the Philippines or Clap (peopled by matrons, not nubile girls) for turning local cheerleading into a mere copy of the American way of doing it. 

In my time there was a drum and bugle band high up in the stands and students shout the cheers and songs at the top of our lungs.  Now, they rely on canned music punctuated by Nintendo audio clips when a girl is tossed in the air. Do students now still know their school cheers? (I know all of San Beda’s cheers. Pom knows many of UP’s.)

In my time male cheerleaders wore trousers and school jackets. Now they wear tights. What’s more, they are not the kind of guys girls at the gallery shriek about. Today’s male cheerleaders do the shrieking.

In my time women cheerleaders wore minis and tight shirts. Now they wear overly-designed overalls. Word is, they got their fashion cues from Shaider—ang pulis pangkalawakan.

In my time girl cheerleaders showed their light colored knickers and milky cleavages. They shook, bumped and ground to our frenzied delight. Now, they are all covered up like spring rolls and all they do is flip like burgers.

In my time girl cheerleaders must be eye candies. (My favorite all-girl teams? Miriam, St. Scho and Assumption—in that order. Oh, boy!) Now they must be athletes with broad shoulders and thick legs like Olympian swimmers. Worse, the basketball players are prettier than they are—if they could be called that.

(I tried my best not to sound sexist and homophobic as I write these. The wife frowns as she reads this. But I can’t make these comparisons without reading like one. Sorry, I was a cave man once.)

Anyway, UP won the competition this year—deservedly. While they did not have the best choreography they committed no mistakes. First runner-up UST, while having the best routine, committed two glaring errors. But I must mention second runner-up FEU had the most fun while performing.

UP’s win broke UST Salinggawi’s five-year dominance. Dapat naman. UP’s Fighting Maroons is 0-14 this year. At least, may naipanalo ang Diliman. Perhaps Coach Joe Lipa should again think of raiding San Beda’s Red Cubs to coble up a championship team.

As to the also rans, I think Adamson U missed out on the winning circle by a slim margin. They had a couple of interesting moves. What is notable about UE is their uniform. (No matter, Jonathan Mayuga. A sweep of the hoop elims is still something, pare. Just one more game and you’ll have your championship.) Ateneo was conservative. NU was pitiful. La Sallewas a joke (they held letters upside down and they jumbled up their school seal).

         But as far as cheerleading teams go I will always be a Red Indian fan. (Umpa! Umpa!) A far second for me would be those guys at the Rexona commercial.