While reading this, hum to the tune of the song that has this famous line--“It’s a small world aaaffter all! It’s a small world aaaffter all…”

It was United Nations Day at my niece’s kindergarten. Around these parts, you know it meant the kids would be all dolled-up and paraded around the neighborhood.

          I kinda remember celebrating UN Day when we were kids ourselves. Studying in a public elementary school in our poor, far-flung and decidedly peasant barangay our teachers had the sense not to make us wear different national costumes. We couldn’t afford it. They just asked us to make flags of different countries from colored paper. Every year, it was either Japanese or the Bangladeshi flag for me. Go figure.

          My niece Chloe attends this school for children of decidedly middle-class parents. Now, a United Nations Day among the bourgeoisie in this country shall never! never! be just about flags. For it to be a proper celebration, the poor kids must wear costumes and be made up like kabuki actors.

         Not unlike government lies, children’s costume events in this country are always overboard. My sister went on three shopping trips just to complete Chloe’s ensemble—a Thai costume complete with a towering headress and nail extenders. If she could just buy an Asian elephant to complete the look, I would not put it beyond my sister Jing to have one.

         I thought Chloe would be one of the most dressed kids in their school’s UN Day celebrations. When we arrived at the venue and I had a good look at the other kids, it turned out my sister was restrained compared with the other parents.

         One kid was in danger of snapping her lovely neck—her headdress was so huge and tall it almost scraped the room’s already tall ceiling. She represented Turkey. 

         There was a girl who represented Egypt and she was made to appear like Cleopatra. She had an escort who was made to appear like a Pharaoh. I don’t know. Isn’t Egypt an Islamic Republic already? Is their national costume still composed of a very short skirt and a tiny top that could barely cover anything?

         Still another girl was made to look like a Japanese geisha. I winched while the kid was gingerly making her way to the stage. She had those wooden slippers that made it a distinct possibility she’d have an accident before the program ended.

          Yet still another girl was made to dress like a Canadian turkey.  The costume's designer had to borrow plumes from peacocks, chickens and pigeons. I was as confused as the uniform. It would have been better if her parents dressed her up as a maple syrup bottle. Now, that’s Canadian.

          Each class was asked to represent countries of a certain continent or region. For Africa, 80 percent represented Egypt. There were only four kids who differed—A Mr Libya, a Mr Madagascar, a Mr Kenya and—dig this—a Ms Korea. I don’t know what map her parents last consulted but I think the kid’s self-esteem is already damaged.

         Mexico was represented by the most number of kids. I don’t know why. What I also don’t get is why the school took the “Central American” countries from North America and lumped it together with South America. “Central America” is North America. And it would have been good if Mexico, Panama, Honduras and Nicaragua joined US and Canada, di ba? What are the national costumes of Canada and US, by the way? May pagka-bobo rin ang school na ito.

          I was aghast at how schools these days turn UN Day celebrations into pageants and popularity contests. In my niece’s school, the announcer called several finalists and the eventual winner was decided by a clapping and hooting competition between the parents and their hakot supporters in the audience (grandparents, uncles [aruy!], aunties and neighbors). If I were one of those kids and I lost, I may already be scarred for life! (Good thing my niece won or I could have shouted “Daya! Luto!”)

           But what is most striking to me is the amount of money spent for the uniforms. I estimate it would have fed the kids of an urban-poor public school for at least six months, including merienda. If Kinderheim School thought about this (rather than the pageant-like celebration it had just to please the camera-toting parents and English-speaking yayas) it would have taught the kids charity and brotherly love. After all, these are part of what the United Nations should stand for, right?

          At bakit naman iaasa sa school ang pagtuturo nito? Because we can’t expect the United Nations to do this for our kids, not while it remains to be a glorified doormat of the US government.

Comments

[Christian]

do you know where to buy or rent thai costume for men?